Let's Get Real - Book Review

God has a story in your marriage and in your life, and through your marriage He is crafting you into His image.  You can read more about this theme as well as how to bring authenticity and wholeness to your marriage in Let’s Get Real, by Dale and Jena Forehand. 

This book is divided into an 8-week study that can be read simply as a chapter book or used as a study to do together as a couple or small group.  Each chapter includes encouragement, advice, illustrations, and mini Bible study sessions with a listening guide at the end of the chapter should you choose to watch the DVD designed to supplement the book.   Learn what happened to marriage at the first Fall, how to be a safe mate, how to get off the shame train, dealing with conflict, forgiveness, and showing your love physically. 

I found particularly interesting the Forehand’s explanation of the shame train – the differences between conviction and shame, causes that lead to the stronghold of shame, and how it leads to either performance or destruction as well as other strongholds that keep us personally and relationally imprisoned.  They also adequately address how to experience authentic forgiveness when you are suffering the consequences of a conflict that wasn’t handled in a godly manner.

Aside from the shame-train topic, I didn’t find a lot of new information in this book that I didn’t already know, but perhaps that is a result of 19 years of marriage and my involvement in many marriage books/studies over the years.  This would definitely be a great resource for either newlyweds or those who find marriage difficult due to continual conflicts rooted in differences on how they were raised.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NavPress Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

One Way My Husband Will Never Be Like God

19 years ago today, I foolishly jumped into a commitment with a man I barely knew.  Having met him only 10 months prior, I only grasped a tiny fraction of who he was as I proclaimed that I would love and cherish him the rest of my life.  Only by the grace of God, he happened to be an even better man than I ever imagined at the time, because my historical choices of guys usually moved the other direction. 

Over the years, we both have changed – dare I say - almost to the point that we are not even the same people.  Again, only by the grace of God have we changed in ways that cause us to fall even more in love with each other, and despite each other too.

If I had married my husband knowing he’d never change, could I be happy? I might think I know everything about him by now, but periodically he surprises me.  The fact that he is also continually changing gives promise to adventure ahead rather than a life of complacency and boredom. 

So the fact that God never changes, is that a good thing?  Hebrews 13:8 claims Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Is the sameness of Jesus boring?  Hardly!  I only know a tiny fraction of all that God is.  While it will take all of eternity for me to know Him, I know that He will only become more and more wonderful – and there will never be something disappointing to discover.

The fact that my husband is mutable and that God is immutable is one respect that they will never be alike, and this is strangely a perfect thing.

Love & War - Book Review

If you are married and ever felt any truth to the idea that “marriage is a submarine with Cinderella and Huck Finn shut inside,” then the book Love and War: Finding Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage is for you.  This is not your typical marriage book.  With frankness and inclusion of many difficulties they have faced, John and Stasi Eldredge speak from their 25 years of marriage to each other of the things that they are just beginning to understand.  The battle that strives to tear apart a marriage is real, and we can draw up our swords in a united front to turn our marriage into something beautiful.

Marriage is hard work, and when two broken people join together, as soon as they say “I do”, the pieces gradually start coming to the surface.  We are not to ignore them, but deal with them, and the Eldredges show us how without using clichés.  They also explain how marriage goes through ebbs and flows, and if you think a marriage always has to be happy, then you will turn a simply low season into something worse.  We are to allow for the ebbs and flows by checking in with God, and they provide practical advice on how to get through these times with God at the center.  Without glossing over the issue of sex, they also explain that sex is the barometer of a marriage, and they attack the issues that lead to difficulties in a straight-forward manner.  At the end of book, they provide a series of prayers as a resource that can be prayed together as a couple to bring health and restoration to marriage and maintain it.

Even though I was convicted, the Eldredges didn't make me feel guilty for not being good enough or more discontent with how my marriage is, like some marriage books do. In fact, while I found myself thinking, “wow, I’m glad my marriage isn’t THAT bad,” I also gave further evaluation to some areas I had not considered previously.  I feel motivated to not always fall into the easiest way of doing things and driven to make my marriage even better. 

This book is great for any married couple, especially those you have at least a few years under their belt and as well as those with many.  Even if you feel like your marriage is good, this book will help you appreciate it even more by sharpening your perspective on the purpose and beauty of marriage. 

Check out chapter 1 at: http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/catalog.php?isbn=9780307730213&view=excerpt

I received a complimentary copy of this book from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group in exchange for this review. The opinions I have expressed herein are my own.