If you have a strong-willed child, it is not your fault. And it is not a bad thing! Being strong-willed is not a negative trait and it’s not a result of bad parenting. We tend to think of stubbornness and defiance, but steely determination, firm convictions and persuasiveness are also assets.
I really needed to hear that.
It may be challenging and a rockier road as the strong-willed like to try things for themselves, but there are also abundant opportunities to guide and steer these world changers, according to Cynthia Ulrich Tobias, author of You Can’t Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child.
At the beginning of the book, she offers a quiz to help the reader to determine if any member of the family has a strong-willed personality. She provides tips on bringing out the best in the strong-willed child, how to help them be successful in school and how to guide them along the right career path. With emphasis on relationship, she shows how to motivate and inspire instead of engaging in power struggles and pointless battles. She also explains what is normal and which types of behavior require additional help.
Cynthia Tobias’s education and background in private practice, teaching and law enforcement has given her countless experiences with various personalities, but she is also qualified on a firsthand experiential level to speak about the strong-willed child. Not only was she one herself, but she classifies one of her twin sons as one as well. Knowing what worked for her and what did not as she was growing up, she was able to put those ideas into practice as a parent and illustrates the successful strategies in this book.
Sometimes all the time and energy that goes into parenting a strong-willed child may seem burdensome compared to compliant children, but Cynthia Tobias will help you see that it is also truly a gift. This short and easy-to-read book gets straight to the point and provides useful examples and stories to keep the reader relating and engaging. I recommend this book for parents of strong-willed children but think the strategies are great for parenting a variety of personality types.
Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Waterbrook Multnomah in exchange for my honest review.