Raising
children is rigorous and can be physically, emotionally, and financially
draining. Someone once said, “The choice
to be a parent is the choice to have your heart walking around outside your
body as long as you live”. My oldest
child has entered the world of adulthood.
Where she once stepped all over my feet, she now steps all over my
heart. And I love her beyond what any words can express. The nature of our
relationship is changing. It is
beautiful, and I’m loving every minute of it. But I am not without questions.
Today’s
adult children that are just graduating and seeking employment are feeling the
repercussions of the Great Recession of 2007-2009, and their struggles are
unique compared to any other generation in history as they try to find their
way of independence in the world. Today, the
nest does not empty as quickly, and sometimes after the nest has been empty for
a while, they come back. This can
present conflicts that we must work through, such as differences in lifestyle
issues and rules of the house. Hurdles to independence may need parental
intervention. Or not.
Ross
Campbell and Gary Chapman help us understand the nature of adult children today
and show us how to build a healthy relationship in their book How to Really Love Your Adult Child. Along with insight to understanding, they
also address grand-parenting, becoming an in-law (not necessarily in that
order), as well as how to continue to take care of yourself. They address
forgiveness for hurts on both sides and how to handle conflicts and draw
boundaries, whether or not your adult child is back in your nest.
Dr.
Campbell and Dr. Chapman are qualified to give such advice on many levels –
occupationally, educationally, and experientially, especially in a personal
sense. One complaint I have is that this
book is dated. I’m a Gen-X parent, and the book is aimed at the baby boomer
generation, as if the baby boomer authors do not realize that Gen-X parents are
now entering this realm of adult children.
But they have experience with much of what they talk about and
advise. Some of their illustrations seem
overly optimistic and fake, but they also sprinkle in illustrations with not-so-idyllic endings. So overall, they do a great job of being helpful while positive
and inspirational. I would recommend
this book to any parent of adult children ages 17-40 who is seeking some uplifting
advice and understanding of their adult children.
Disclaimer:
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Moody Publishers in exchange
for my honest review.
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