Secure Daughters Confident Sons - Book Review

Some people think there are no differences between boys and girls when they are born except for “plumbing”.  Others are extreme in thinking a boy must be “Macho Joe” or a girl must be a sweet “Pretty in Pink”.  The book Secure Daughters Confident Sons by Glenn T. Stanton claims to explore the vast terrain somewhere between the two different views in order to “help you teach your child to navigate between the two extreme views of identity in our culture today.”

The author failed to live up to his claim.  Using more references to movies and pop culture than the Bible, the author draws broad, sweeping generalizations about the differences between boys and girls.  Based more on stereotype than scientific research, he stated his opinions in a factual and authoritative manner. While my experiences and observations tend to be in agreement with many of his, I found myself continually arguing with him in my head and thinking up exceptions to his points.  I tend to want to rebel when people put me in a box.

But I did find some value in the book, such as understanding that mothers parent differently than fathers and that we balance each other as God intended.  The book affirmed how gender differences affect marriage.  That’s all the book did for me though – it reaffirmed what I already knew in my experience to be true.

Even though I am raising a boy and a girl who fit the gender molds in this book, I was disappointed in that it merely reinforced the stereotypical extreme rather than exploring how to reinforce gender qualities in a world where it is more politically correct to ignore differences.  I did not come away with any practical application for parenting or any ideas for spiritually training my children.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group in exchange for this review. The opinions I have expressed herein are my own, obviously.


  1. Thank you for the honest review.
    The title itself speaks of important attributes we strongly desire for our kids' development.

    I am especially keen to learn more and look at new perspectives about what makes them tick and how to enhance their self-development.

  2. Thanks for the helpful and honest review. The title of the book intrigued me, so it is good to read someone's honest appraisal of it before spending money! Thanks.

  3. okay, maybe it wasn't THAT bad. I have read plenty of other books that said the same kinds of things in a better way (like "Bringing Up Boys/Girls") but if the subject matter interests you or if you never read these types of books before, then I recommend it!