Most mornings at 5:15 am, even on my days off or when I am traveling, He is calling me to meet with Him. I might hit the snooze button sometimes, but when I finally awaken enough to remember that sleeping more cuts into my time with Him, I’m ready to fly out of bed. Some mornings if I miss it, I still yearn to find time in the day to get alone with Him. I thirst for Him. I long for Him. I want to follow hard after Him and know Him more and more. I want Him to transform me.
Some activities increase my affections for God, while other activities deplete my desire for Him. These activities have changed over the years. The things that used to hinder me – the moral choices of outward actions – these no longer have their pull on me. My hindrances now tend to be more neutral – activities that suck my time into an empty black hole that leave me nothing but emptiness in the end. Facebook. TV. Not bad in themselves, but don’t offer me much good either.
Lately, many of my hindrances have been internal – busyness, self-pity, negativity, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness. But these hindrances have served as catalysts. By fighting them out of my life, I lean hard on God, and He uses them to draw me to Him even more, to desire Him even more, and to change me.
Just as there are hindrances, there are also activities that increase my desire for more of Him: reading posts from my blogging friends of faith, hearing how my dearest friends are persevering through the struggles of life through faith in Christ, listening to music that expresses my heart cry for God, listening to expository sermons, reading Christian books, forcing myself to be still and just listen to God.
I love Jesus with every fiber of my being. No matter how much I study and spend time with Him, the more of Him I want…the more of Him there is to know. If I could spend every second of my earthly life for 100 years trying to know Him, I will have only scratched the surface of knowing all there is to know of the infinite God. And to think…He will give us an eternity!