I utterly failed. This week I had a perfect opportunity to choose to take worry captive and replace it with trust in God. Instead, I forgot that I had the alternative of peace through Jesus and allowed myself to be consumed by anxiety.
It started on Monday after a phone call about the future and a misunderstanding. The anxiety began and my attempts to gain control of the circumstances were futile. With the knowledge that God was sovereign, I was able to be patient to a small degree and watch events unfold.
On Tuesday, I was frustrated at the lack of unfolding events. The nagging thought of whether or not God would interfere with man’s free will made me wonder how much I could trust Him to work it all out for good. A verse about worry came to my mind from Matthew 6 in fragments – “Do not worry about tomorrow….each day has enough worry of its own...will not add a single hour to your life…” This day certainly had enough of its own, yet I worried about tomorrow and the month ahead. The Holy Spirit was speaking but the noise I was allowing in my head deafened me to Him.
On Wednesday, the worry and anxiety snowballed. Everything in life weighed heavy on my shoulders, including things of which I had formerly trusted God. Satan knocked, I opened the door, and he summoned his friends and had a whopping grand party. Satan’s lies had broken in and made themselves at home, and I didn’t even recognize them as strangers.
On Thursday, I experienced the physical effects of the worry-party hangover. Finally, I was smacked in the head and jarred to reality – I was not responsible for circumstances outside of my control. Philippians 4:6 echoed in my mind - “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Conviction flooded my soul, revealing that I had chosen sin intentionally by selecting what came natural – worry. I really could choose to end the worry-party and turn the other direction. Now I was ready to lay the source of anxiety on the altar before God and be careful not to snatch it back.
Through Friday morning, I chose to be obedient and plowed into my work with full concentration. Every time anxiety knocked on my door, I kept it closed, replacing worry with thanksgiving and presenting my requests to God. He gave me peace and His perspective. And not long after, He gave me the answer I had worried for all week…not just an answer, but the answer of which I hoped and dreamed. Even if it hadn’t been the answer I wanted, He still would have been good and He still could be trusted. Either way, all that worry and anxiety benefited absolutely nothing, all a waste of energy
Choosing obedience and submitting to God’s agenda instead of my own from the beginning would have carried me through this whole process in a matter of minutes instead of days. Trying to “prepare” myself for difficulties and trials is a step in the right direction, but if I don’t move the knowledge from my head to my heart into action, then my faith is weak. God is transforming me.
It started on Monday after a phone call about the future and a misunderstanding. The anxiety began and my attempts to gain control of the circumstances were futile. With the knowledge that God was sovereign, I was able to be patient to a small degree and watch events unfold.
On Tuesday, I was frustrated at the lack of unfolding events. The nagging thought of whether or not God would interfere with man’s free will made me wonder how much I could trust Him to work it all out for good. A verse about worry came to my mind from Matthew 6 in fragments – “Do not worry about tomorrow….each day has enough worry of its own...will not add a single hour to your life…” This day certainly had enough of its own, yet I worried about tomorrow and the month ahead. The Holy Spirit was speaking but the noise I was allowing in my head deafened me to Him.
On Wednesday, the worry and anxiety snowballed. Everything in life weighed heavy on my shoulders, including things of which I had formerly trusted God. Satan knocked, I opened the door, and he summoned his friends and had a whopping grand party. Satan’s lies had broken in and made themselves at home, and I didn’t even recognize them as strangers.
On Thursday, I experienced the physical effects of the worry-party hangover. Finally, I was smacked in the head and jarred to reality – I was not responsible for circumstances outside of my control. Philippians 4:6 echoed in my mind - “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Conviction flooded my soul, revealing that I had chosen sin intentionally by selecting what came natural – worry. I really could choose to end the worry-party and turn the other direction. Now I was ready to lay the source of anxiety on the altar before God and be careful not to snatch it back.
Through Friday morning, I chose to be obedient and plowed into my work with full concentration. Every time anxiety knocked on my door, I kept it closed, replacing worry with thanksgiving and presenting my requests to God. He gave me peace and His perspective. And not long after, He gave me the answer I had worried for all week…not just an answer, but the answer of which I hoped and dreamed. Even if it hadn’t been the answer I wanted, He still would have been good and He still could be trusted. Either way, all that worry and anxiety benefited absolutely nothing, all a waste of energy
Choosing obedience and submitting to God’s agenda instead of my own from the beginning would have carried me through this whole process in a matter of minutes instead of days. Trying to “prepare” myself for difficulties and trials is a step in the right direction, but if I don’t move the knowledge from my head to my heart into action, then my faith is weak. God is transforming me.
Great description of walking from worry to faith. For me it is a daily decision. Sometimes Pass sometimes fail. The tests keep coming. I notice when I am weak in my physical body the enemy gets in easier with worry.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Tammy
Thank you Paula for sharing. Such a powerful reminder. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Paula for leaving your name on my blog. I've spent quite some time reading through your journies that you so openly share her on Graduadual Transformations. ESPECIALLY Taking Worry Captive. I'm really determined NOT to hear that knock!!!
ReplyDelete