I know you don’t need another mother, but it has not been easy trying to figure out what my relationship with you should be. It hurts when you look me in the eye and lie. And when you found out that it did, I think you hurt too. You have been vague ever since, and I have let you be.
I spent hours worrying if you would come home safe, hoping you would not get behind the wheel under the influence of something that would bring harm to you or someone else. I have wrestled with what kind of life I would allow you to leave while under our roof, whether you were taking advantage of me, wanting to escape accountability.
But I also know that you probably felt hurt, hurt that I could not trust you, hurt that I assumed maybe you were acting self-destructively when perhaps you were not. Please know that it was only because I care for you so deeply. I want to spare you the pain and to cut the chains and set you free, but it’s really not my job.
With much love,